Yesterday I received a lesson in keeping everyone on their toes; proof that there is never a dull moment where horses are involved! If you ever want to get all your friends’ attention, here’s a how-to guide based on yesterday’s events:
Step 1: Make sure its a thirty degree day in the middle of a really busy week and you are surrounded by people in a hurry and under the hammer. Have your afternoon dressage lesson with Jenny, clean your horse, its gear and your boots and pack everything back into the car. Load the horse onto the float and leave for the ten minute journey home.
Step 2: Make sure that your friends’ phones are out of reception and that Jenny leaves to pick Micky up from the bus stop just a few minutes behind you.
Step 3: Lose the wheel off your car. Not just the tyre but the whole wheel.
Step 4: Somehow steer the car and float with your very large horse on board to the side of the road. Stop the car, put the break on, put your heart back in your mouth.
Step 5: Get out of the car. Stop yourself from shaking. Start looking for your wheel in the state forest extending out beside the road.
Step 6: After rumagging through the bushes, getting your legs covered in prickles and trying with all your might not to fall over, find your wheel half way down the hill and carry it back up to your car.
Step 7: Check that your horse is still in the float, alive and calm. When you know that all is well, run for your phone and call everyone you can think of.
Step 8: Get onto Jenny, tell her what’s happened. Send her home to get backup, her float to put the horse on and some much needed chocolate.
Step 9: While waiting for supplies to arrive, catch the attention of a very good looking local excavator on his way home from work. Let him proceed to re-attach your wheel to your car. Of course, it will be necessary for him to use an excavator to do so.
Step 10: When Jenny arrives with the float, take the horse off the float, put him in hers and send them to your home to return the horse.
Step 11: Eat much needed chocolate. Call your family. Try not to cry. Thank the excavator profusely as he still battles away with your wheel. Eat more chocolate.
Step 12: When the wheel is back on the car, the horse is home and there is no chocolate left, thank the excavator AGAIN, organise for a thank-you present to be dropped at his house, get back in your car and limp it home.
Step 13: Once in the shelter of your home again, crawl into bed and thank god you’re safe and sound!
So there you have it, a step-by-step guide on how to get everyone’s attention and make life a little more interesting! Based on an, unfortunately, true story.
Thank you to Raenor Priest for never failing to shake things up a little bit!
For proof that the above did actually happen, photos coming soon!